December 2003

December 5, 2003 found me pondering and reflecting:

"I love life. Really I do. It has this way of throwing you a curve ball when you least expect it. Whoever said life is like a rollercoaster was dead on. It can be exciting and terrifying, it has twists and turns, ups and downs, you can't see coming. That's how my life is at least...

I enjoy many of the surprises and others leave me speechless, sad, shocked... But I never know what's coming next."

LOL Even more true today than it was 2 years ago!

I went to see my grandfather on December 30, 2003 and while this is not NZ news, it is significant. It was the last time I saw my Grandaddy.

"I also saw my grandfather who's in the nursing home. That was very, very hard. He fell and broke his hip about a week before Christmas but he was out of the hospital and back in the nursing home when we saw him on Saturday. They had his leg in traction and he was in a lot of pain. He recognized us and was very happy to see us. They had just given him two pain pills and after about thirty minutes he was pretty out of it. We left for a while and when we came back he was flying high but still kind of out of it. I must say though, I'd rather see him out of it than in pain. That was unbearable."

We had brought my baby Jake with us and I used this as an excuse to go outside (to let him go potty) so I could have a break from Grandaddy. Isn't that horrible? It was so hard to see him like that. As I was coming back in the building my dad was coming to find me. Grandaddy was looking for me. He was really doped up and couldn't tell what was going on, but he remembered that I was supposed to be there and when he couldn't find me he started saying, "Where's my Aspen? Where'd she go?" That was a bittersweet moment. (I could cry right now but I'm forcing myself not to) I remember, before they gave him the drugs, he was asking if I was still going to NZ. I said yes and he was saying maybe he'd come down and see me. When I told him I'd only be there for a few months he said ok, he'd see me when he got back. In his day he loved to travel. He and my grandmother travelled all over the world. A bit of an insipration to me.

Move on to JanUary 2003

Back to NoVemBer 2003